A good Santa Barbara day…

A good Santa Barbara day…drizzling and cloudy, just how I like it. Today has been full of events. I talked to a friend on the phone, read the news, drank coffee…pretty much did most of the best things to do. Bret, Stephen and I took a walk at the Douglas Preserve. We walked and Bret told us all about the Cyprus trees. We met a homeless guy named Dave… he smoked a joint while we talked about how pretty the ocean is. Dave was really excited to show us his tattoos. They looked like he drew them on with magic marker but we talked to him anyway. You can’t judge a guy by his tattoos, right.
It’s funny how the weather can affect my mood and general outlook on life so readily. Seriously, give me some clouds and a few raindrops and life seems completely different. Maybe it’s just the change that snaps me out of my routined thinking. Who knows…anyway, I like it.
In the last week I’ve become more and more aware of my need to be with people, and also how good but ultimately unfulfilling those relationships are. I feel like I’ve been learning this for years. But maybe that means I haven’t actually “learned” it at all. I remember reading this summer and Henri Nouwen (I think) was talking about solitude and how we can never know true community until we know solitude. He talked about how in solitude we know ourselves more fully and only then can we connect with the depths of someone else. I think I’m finding myself in the midst of the process of going from loneliness to solitude (Nouwen also writes about that). Seeing moments of alone-ness not as friendlessness or an introduction to loneliness but as an opportunity for solitude and uninterrupted communion with the Maker is a place I’m still moving towards.

That’s all for now my friends. My thought for the day…no guilt in life, no fear in death.