hypocricy and the good life

Well, I’ve been thinking about a lot lately and I’ll try to put it all in some kind of logical order.

I watched the movie “The Constant Gardner” last week. It was a beautiful, thought provoking and tragic movie. I hope you’ve seen it but if you haven’t it is about drug companies testing their products in Africa but really it is about poverty and human connection. It made me think about this question… What happens when we stop reaching out to those around us but instead point them towards a building and say, “they will help you”? Doesn’t God call us to more than that. It seems pretty clear to me that we are to be personally helping people, not just pointing them on their way.

I ask the question because I believe it to be true. I believe Christians should be the first to offer what we have to those without, to fight for the oppressed and to seek justice. But I have a dilemma. I know that going to Africa, or the inner city or Central America to serve and work on behalf of the suffering are good things and I believe in them and I’ve done some of those things. But it is becoming clear to me that my strengths as a person lie in other places, that I am much better at inspiring people to go and do those things, better at encouraging people to look beyond the suburbs and go to the people who are in need. Right now I am working in student group advising and I feel that I am closer to doing what God made me to do than by walking downtown and feeding the homeless. So my dilemma is this…am I just being hypocritical? Do I speak of living a world changing life but walk away from that life myself claiming, “that’s not my calling”. OR am I finding my place and owning my limits as a person. Am I living a world changing life more fully because I accept what I am gifted at and do that thing.

I am starting to become more comfortable with the idea that I am not living as a hypocrite but that I’m learning to fully be who God made me to be. Now I am anxious to know my exact place. I want to be sure that I am in fact doing what God made me to do so that I can be sure that this is where my efforts are best directed. And so I can rest assured that other people with other gifts are focusing on doing the things I feel guilty for not doing. I am also looking forward to finding ways in which I can focus on doing who I am and still do work in areas of my weakness.
These thoughts are all still very delinquent and won’t come together to form much of anything yet but I think that that is ok for now. One thing that I am always reminded of by talking to my parents is this. You can only do what you do. God is a God of grace and peace. Be at peace. Be at peace