Since last writing I have gone to and returned from Mexico( see mexico pictures here). It was an odd sensation to be traveling solely for pleasure. All through college getting on a plane marked the beginning or end of something significant. Airports and planes separated the end of one semester and the beginning of Christmas or summer or the beginning or end of living in another country.
This trip was entirely different and it felt peculiar to be on a plane and not have it mean anything. I was just on vacation and it didn’t mark any change in life. I guess I never realized how closely I associated traveling with major transition. I say all of this because since starting college this is the longest time I’ve spent in one place. Save one week in Mexico I have been here since August and my internal clock is telling me it’s time for some transition. In various sleep deprived moments I’ve contemplated moving somewhere to be closer to friends, to have a different job, to go back to school etc. all the time purposely forgetting that I have a lease and no money.
After so many years of steady, anticipated movement and change I’m finding staying put is trying. Out of necessity, my yearning for change is starting to find some more realistic focus- the seasons. Although if you’ve ever lived in Montana you might contest that looking forward to the thaw of spring in late January is the least realistic thing you could do. Regardless of the reality of at least two and a half more months of icy winds and snow I’m holding out hope and loving the occasional blue sky and sunny day. And maybe that’s the thing that feels so good, that I’ve been forgetting, having hope in something more.
As I’m sure you know I lean toward the heavy questions of life and can easily get stuck on the pessimistic side of things. In this time of my life, where everything feels in-between, like I’m on my way to what I really want to be doing, it is good to have hope. Not hope that it will all be like I imagine, but hope that there is more. There is always more.
3 comments:
It was great to read an update on you buddy. I hope you are doing well. Much Love.
Bailon. The sky is pissing water in SB. A steady flow like no other, not even the semester you came back from Mexico and Armington flooded. I miss you brother and I am so glad that you got to take a flight for no other reason than enjoying an amazing place with your amazing family (plus one or two weaneys). I wish I could offer a simple easy to digest word of wisdom here. But I can't. Life is hard and although I don't fully understand the things that have been trying in your life the last few months.
I do know that you are much too talented, too intelligent, too authentic to stay working at dtv. Keep looking, keep hoping, and keep being faithful in the small so that God can do what only he can do.
Like brother Wendell says keep "practicing resurrection"
Peace,
Zack
adam,
i think this is true for me. i am actually excited to get to a place where a plane ride is for luxury, or vacation. not that i am complaining about my own upcoming, monumental plane ride. thanks, once again, for sharing your thoughts.
emily
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