Well…lots has been happening these last few weeks. I now work at Westmont in the Center for Leadership and Learning with Michele Mollkoy and Lori Lester (also Emily Katz, but she’s leaving after orientation) Anyway…I like my job a lot. I’m going to be advising Westmont Student Ministries and I’m most excited about that. It seems like a daunting task but I have a ton of help and advice in Michele and Lori. My brother, Stephen, is now here and all moved in. I’m stoked to have him be here and living with me.
I actually wanted to write about this past weekend. I went up to Napa to my cousins wedding. I’ve already described it as one of the best weekends of my life. It was so good for a few different reasons. My parents, brothers and Megan (Peter’s girlfriend) all drove down from Kalispell. I hadn’t seen them since June and I didn’t get that much time with them when I was home. Also, it was the first time in nearly 10 years that all of my cousins and aunts and uncles have been together. The wedding was for the oldest of 11 cousins and it was basically a huge party. Up to that time I had only seen my parents dance 1 or 2 times in my whole life (my dad isn’t a big dancer) but they both danced for hours. It was so fun, especially because most people there were family. It was truly a grand celebration.
All of those things made it very special but really I think it was more about the timing of the whole thing than anything else. I just got back from Guatemala, starting life after college, working and living in Santa Barbara, Stephen just graduated from high school and moved out to live here with me. My older brother Peter and Megan will probably be getting married next summer. My parents now live in an empty house for the first time in 25 years. Everything I have ever known about my life is changing. Everything my family has ever known is changing. We are moving into a new era as individuals and, perhaps more importantly, as a family. We said good-bye in a gas station parking lot. We all cried a little bit, not because we didn’t think we would see each other again but because a very, very great time in our lives is over. It is all very good and a new time, which will also be good, is beginning. But saying goodbye to what was is hard and made me think a lot about how lucky I was to have a home and a family that was a blessing and restful and renewing and peaceful. I have kind of been thinking about all of this as a growing pain. It hurts a lot, but it’s not a destructive hurt. In fact, we endure the pain because we know that we are becoming more of what we were meant to be.
My parents live by themselves now. That means a lot of things to them. But it means a lot of things to me too. Our family is different now, our relationships are changing, and all of it is good. This time of life feels a lot. It feels deeply. Perhaps only few moments in my life will surpass the profound depth of feeling that I experienced while standing with my family in a gas station parking lot thanking God for my life with them and how it has always been and now how it will change. I feel like I’m starting the rest of my life from there. I was reminded of who I am, where I come from, who I come from and why that is so good.
I know that this has been long, but I hope you stuck it out…and I hope it was worth it. One last thing…
I’ve been reading Psalm 143 lately. The more I read it the more I feel like it represents my life. David basically says,
Help…he’s after me and he’s winning and I’m tired…
I’ll come to you…answer me…(this is the part I really like so I’ll quote it)
“Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul. Teach me to do you will, for you are my God; may your good Spirit lead me on level ground.”
Sometimes I like to write prayers to finish writing…
Father, that you would tell me of your love every day and that I would trust in it and believe in it like the rising sun. I know you are true God. Teach me to walk in your Truth.
I hope and pray that this era of my life will bring deeper relationships, more insight and wisdom and more faith.
2 comments:
I finally looked at your blog...On behalf of Michele and myself we are thrilled to have you on staff. You have already added to who and what our staff is with your ponderings on leading with humility and by jumping in in the midst of our crazyiest time of the year. Thanks for letting us be a part of your transition. I'm looking forward to the journey.
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