The one thing

For the past month or so I have done a lot of thinking and discovered a lot about myself. It hasn’t always been the best process and at times I’ve made it much worse than it needed to be. So to all that have had the close up view, I’m sorry for dragging you through it with me, but thanks for sticking it out.

One recent realization….

This morning I was struck by something. The thoughts were not entirely new but their return to my understanding was welcome and timely.

First this…Over the pat few months I have begun to get antsy in life. Not so much antsy to move (although I am doing that) but antsy to feel. Feel all the way to the depths of my being. See I am a dreamer of sorts, I like the deep philosophical questions and conversations. But over the past bit I’ve pondered so much that I lost sight of the reason I was engaged in these topic in the first place. I lost the fire for the smoke. The passion to think about and talk about and act on important issues has dwindled to a sliver of what it was. My attempts to jumpstart my heart have been in vain. I just couldn’t make important things matter like I knew they should.

My roommate read this to me for Luke this morning,

“If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it. What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, and yet lose his very self?

I was struck with the simplicity of the words. Jesus doesn’t mess around and he certainly had it right when he said that (and everything else for that matter). But I was sincerely caught off guard by how basic it seemed. I know that there can be infinite interpretations of these words but, to be perfectly honest, at this moment in time I have no interest in any of them. I know what it meant to me today and that is what matters.

So what I realized was this, I have been so caught up with the things Jesus was concerned about that I forgot to be caught up in Him. It’s funny how it works. The things He loves are not Him. They do not give life. Only He gives life. A life lived in pursuit of grace and mercy, peace and generosity but lacking relationship with the Maker is still lost. Those things are an expression of who He is but they are not Him.

While I believe that being involved in the work of God is important i.e. justice, mercy, forgiveness, peace, love, grace etc. None of these things compare to the Giver of all good things. The creation pales in comparison to the creator. The idea is this: Love is beautiful but He who is love is beauty.


The revolution of Jesus is not to do what we think Jesus would want us to do. The Way of Jesus is to be with Him and we will be changed by Him.

So once again I find myself on familiar ground. He has reminded me that there is nothing, nothing, nothing more important than being with Jesus.






p.s. I am leaving for Montana on Tuesday morning. I have yet to find a place to live or a job in Missoula and would appreciate prayers in those regards…as well as what I’ve just written about.